Thursday, July 16, 2009

tour de force

Phew, well this last week we've really been testing the "Busy" part of "business" i guess that's why you don't call it a 'laziness'. hmm where to start...
Well first off slack arse McFeehally decided he wanted to do some 'traaaiiining' for some circus event called cliffhanger, so that left crippled McVarian doing 100% of the post production workload. As well as deciding which lucky people get the latest batch of 34 boards (this will increase alot...soon... trust us... we've just had more ball ache than the peleton after a mammoth road stage these past few weeks and our new workshop has a circuit breaker that's about as on edge as Beaker from the muppet show playing a fairground hamer whacking game, but it'll all be sorted by Uber Beast Bowering as soon as new parts arrive (we to are victims to the courier services)).
So anyhow, 12 boards were bequethed to the nice chaps at cragx for their pullup comp, AKA the testosterzone. and 2 of our boards got punted onto some more than worthy beasts who can do 37 pullups in a minute!
Meanwhile in the big top opposite a drama was unfolding. The women's finals saw little miss oh so casual Whittaker saunter up the first 3 problems, only to fall victim to the evil north korean known as 'Dee-ouchii fingaping' on the final move of problem 4. Thus leaving the comp wide open going into problem 5. Leah's jet propelled determination saw her sinch up a crucial bonus hold on problem 5, the crux move on which, brought about the harsh realisation to Katy that she does in suffer a tad from a lack of gunnage in her armoury! Effort Leah!
Oh and a big shout out to Katy Piddock, Katy Who? the Katy who decided she'd do a spot of training in the matrix this year, and found herself crushing in a national final, inspiring, tall trees can indeed grow from the smallest of cracks in the pavement! ( philosophy from sensei 9A doorjam Ben)
Speaking of a lack of Gunnage, Barrans appeared to forget his usual jet propelled forearms, leaving him looking more than human on this reachy set. One of the best finals (and most viewed) ensued with him and wobblebuns feehally (finding an excuse to shirk off work) neck for neck into problem 4. Dave realised that all the holds were just small crimps and walked all over it, where as Ned decided to try and find silly technical solutions when the answer lay in straight up brute power, after FINALLY manning up Ned decided to drop the last move to make it really close, with the crowd on edge, Barrans proceeded not to lock upto a winning bonus hold in time. leaving Ned the chance of stepping upto the plate. Now old Ned would no doubt have buggered it up here, but in the last few months there has been a true beast emerging out of sheffields cellars. New Ned saw that the moment was special and could feel the crowd's expectation bearing upon his not inconsiderate back. So Ned pulled on... slapped the first move, and discovered that he is still a bit spack and slapped a blank wall. After a brief pause and some stern thoughts, Ned pulled back on and tore the holds into jugs. Locking what everyone else struggled to reach and firing all six cylinders to the top of the problem thus beating the Russian roulette of comp climbing.
Champ is still Champ, and he gets the only current staff t shirt for his troubles (whoopee!) see podium picture for details.

In all fairness Barrans pushed Ned right to the end, and after bridesmaiding him for most of the year it was good to see Ned step it up a notch and get one back. I gave Dave a fingerboard as a bit of a consolation prize (we're psyched to work with him anyway) but it didn't seem to console him too much. Shout outs have to go to the "ever orange" Gaz Parry (3rd after wobbling up 8a-8c routes for months!) keith 'straight up powerhouse' Bradbury, who kept it real by using as little technique as possible and nearly qualified, and to Audrey for some good commentary (thank the lord).
Great comp though and it can only improve if it's a world cup next year, hopefully that way the prize money might actually not take the piss by being less than the dyno comp, what a bleedin piss take that is, these guys train all year for ONE event and get landed with a whopping £350 for their efforts, the fact that they will compete whether there is prize money or not is a moot point, what is important is for someone on some commitee somewhere to respect their efforts enough one day to atleast match those jumping "athletes" in cycling gloves...
Tour de force indeed.

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